EDIT: This post was left unfinished. I publish now for the interested reader.
Change, change, change again!
I’m particularly keen on the reflections post this year because a friend recommended that I record how I think now, in order to have an interesting history of how my thinking changes over time.
Well, 2016 opened with a continuation of much that was happening in December. Two things were pertinent in January, I was working a contract and I was getting fortnightly talking therapy on the NHS.
I was in an office full time. The commute was long and grey, the days were grey and the company itself was a bit grey too. Related to health insurance. Sane people, just a little dull. Even the tube line that I used each day was the grey one. But it was money and I was pleased about it.
The whole beginning of the year was then much the same. My contracts were not quite back to back, but the gaps were entirely filled with illness, so I did nothing but work or be bedridden. At one point I had two colds and two rounds of tonsilitis back to back, which led to a chest infection.
But due to my revenue, I graduated myself onto a “real” salary of £2,000 gross /month. More than I’ve ever been paid before. This lasted until the end of August.
I used it to “be London” – swanking around buying coffees and eating in restaurants. I got a pricey gym membership (another first) and even used it 3 times a week when I wasn’t ill. I bought some things for my living space, including a sofa, which according to my close friend is a “grown up” thing to buy, haha.
I finished up the final 4 of 6 sessions of NHS talky therpay with Uwe. It helped a lot. I feel shy writing more about it.
In May, I discovered Meaningness.com and it helped a lot too. More in the philosophy section.
New Person from last year was/is still around and still great. However, for most of this year I was not able to visit them because of their flatmate/landlord’s refusal to allow me in the building.
The flatmate/landlord is the driven man who I fell out with in 2014. Back then, I sent an email to say I didn’t agree with some of his beliefs, and would be withdrawing from their friendship to concetrate on earning my own money. In 2015 I succeeded in that and was still visiting the house to see New Person. At the end of 2015 it transpired that Driven Man was waiting for me to ‘come around’ about my crazy decision about our friendship. I did not ‘come around’. So they banned me from the house.
Eventually, mid-year, New Person said to Driven Man that I was going to start visiting the house again and he couldn’t ban me from being there. Driven Man’s response? He told New Person to move out. There is so much more detail, but yeah that was stressful.
After a tough summer of savings and multiple job changes, New Person now has their own place and we celebrated Christmas there, woo-hoo!
Also, in late 2015 I slept with someone new. I’d met them a while before, but they were not in a good place to be dating. Now they are. I had some feels, which have waned since. I’m still not sure how close I want to be with this person.