Reflections 2020

2019 was so shit I didn’t even finish my reflections post. 2020 was better than that!


The second half of 2020 saw three blog posts on Theory Engine and two here. Posts that roused people in different ways, that I’m proud of. I also wrote an article for a magazine, which was published in April. That’s not much writing for me, but that’s because I was Fucking Busy this year.

Fucking Busy

I took my own advice and got busy in Janaury organising a week-long irl Salon for Philosophy people, an event which ultimately drew the most important new people in my life towards me over the rest of the year.

After that I had to work, money had run out.

Managed to squeeze a funeral, a wedding and a festival into 2020 before the great lockdown in March, and was lucky enough to work a lucrative contract from home for the whole spring and part of summer, giving me more in savings than ever before. The downside was being desperately bored and inhaling sugar while playing videos games and thinking about precious little else.

Come the summer, I noticed my flatmate managed to take his family holiday as normal, thanks to restrictions being lifted in July. I consequently got out and about in the summer as much as possible, reconnecting with Bristol and my friends there, as I had been meaning to do for eight years.

I also met my goddaughter Poppy 🥰 the most gobliny of the Covid babies but now the most beautiful and the most precious!

My friends remain as wonderful and trollsome as ever ❤

And finally my end of summer trip to Lisbon had even more consequence than the-already-laden-with-meaning aspects that I was aware of. (Reader, we moved there)


As soon as I’m busy I don’t quite have as much sex as I would like (which is not loads, actually). Sad face. But still, not too bad this year, and I started a major new relationship in October. Thank god they were willing to break the rule of the law to see me in person twice. We’re mainly a video-call relationship, which I’ve never done before, and it’s pretty awesome.

They are something else though, I can’t even write about it.

My household went ahead with our traditional “private” party in the summer, where we throw a party for ourselves and intimate guests, rather than get exahusted as hosts. It was very sexy and awesome. Added 3 people to “the list” that night 😉

I’ve stayed in alot of hotels this year and it’s been awesome to be a tourist during such a quiet season.

I’m also in love with someone. Mostly just sitting with that one.

We arrived in Lisbon on 10th December, and were at a cuddle party two days later. Ditto New Year’s. People are amazing, the internet is amazing. It’s good to immediately meet like-minded people in this new place.

I’m now as close with my digital friends as I ever was with an irl friend, I love them dearly and can’t wait to be in realspace together.

Spiritual stuff

What do I even say? I got my wish to not be bored anymore, that’s for sure.

For a couple of months now I’ve been exploring something new. It’s incredibly hard to talk about. It involves Jesus, and Buddha. I’m still a baby.

It’s kinda the crescendo that has built on other kinds of change that I began this year, like trying to be truly in explore mode, hold myself much wider open, while also trying to step back, humbly, from over-effortful control of my living environment.

I think being wide open really worked, ha.


I started the year as a web developer and ended it taking donations for writing and posting pictures of my feet :::shrug:::


A wild idea (move to Lisbon) with a wild timeline (9 weeks) came off without a hitch because I live with the most competent people I’ve ever met. All six of us moved out, arranged for our stuff to go into cheap storage, and picked up certificates of residency in Portugal before the end of December. My housemates are my heros.

Now I live here, and I love it. I have the money to stay here for a long time without working much and I’m about to move into a place nominally on my own. I could not be more ready for what I know is coming next.

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